“If your Nerve deny you — Go above your Nerve”

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A super cute photo of me before my first time in an airplane (to Disney World).

Emily Dickinson’s words have really resonated with me lately. “Go above your nerve” — it’s what I’ve been telling myself for the past… 10 months, give or take. As excited as I am about packing up and moving across the world — it’s scary. I’m nervous, despite the fact that it’s not even uncommon to do something like this anymore (I feel a bit cliche writing a blog about it).

It seems like not very long ago I was sitting on my dorm room floor, signing up to get information from a company called Global Work and Travel Co. about teaching abroad. Global is a company that helps people go pretty much anywhere in the world and has offices everywhere, it seems, except America. Leave it to me to not only decide to move to the opposite end of the Earth, but to make things extra fun — let’s go through a company that doesn’t even operate in the United States.

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Let’s be honest: I chose Global because they had the prettiest website. I wish I was kidding. The site was full of beautiful pictures, testimonials, and exciting promises of what traveling the world could do for me. Without realizing, by putting my phone number and email address into a “I’d like to receive more info!” box, I began this almost year long journey to where I am today. Although working through Canada has had its challenges, it’s been nice having someone holding my hand through this process.

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For all of my lovely friends and family wondering why the hell I am doing this, I wish I had a conclusive answer for you. In short, I feel like I need to. Maybe it’s wanderlust, maybe it’s fear of regret, and maybe it’s for the kids —  it’s probably a combination of these things along with a few others.

Growing up, my favorite show was “Samantha Brown’s Great Hotels” on Travel Channel, and when I’m home alone my guilty pleasures include “Anthony Bourdain’s Part’s Unknown” or watching a Netflix documentary about some place I’ve never heard of. Whatever is inside me that longs to be where I am not is nothing new, except now I am old enough to act on it (with the help of my mother’s unwavering support; I am lucky).

I am excited, I am terrified, and I am (almost) ready to do this. So — here goes nothing!

One thought on ““If your Nerve deny you — Go above your Nerve”

  1. Anthony Bourdain’s Part’s Unknown is the best show on TV. Don’t ever feel guilty about watching it or for watching anything you like and that speaks to you. Don’t be who you aren’t, because who you are is so incredible. He does what you are doing: not traveling to a place but living in a place. There is a difference. You don’t ever really feel, taste, and know a place from the confines of a four star hotel. Anyone can do that. You will come to understand that the Barnes family doesn’t do what others can do. That’s safe, boring, easy. This DNA is a blessing and a curse, but it makes life very interesting. Can I tell you what an amazing woman you are for seizing the day while you can. Fear can be so debilitating, so I’m proud of you for escalating your situation above your fear. Godspeed Janie!

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